Tom Powers, who apparently has a history of being an idiot, decided to make recently demoted Tsuyoshi Nishioka his punching bag recently. Of course, that would be completely fine, as Nishioka’s been a terrible player for the Minnesota Twins thus far and deserves to be criticized. However, what irked me was the direction in which Powers took the criticism.

Nishioka also is a bit of a diva who big-times the Japanese media, basically refusing to acknowledge their existence except for the designated postgame snippet session in the clubhouse. He just doesn’t treat people very well. His trusty interpreter, Ryo Shinkawa, rarely smiles.

I can’t testify to whether this is true or not, but I do know Ichiro Suzuki and Yu Darvish aren’t exactly friendly with the Japanese media (Hideki Matsui is), though I suppose nobody mentions that because they’re good.

I bring this up because Powers comes off like a sportswriter scorned, and it’s as if he feels that Nishioka has been playing bad enough where he can use the fact that Nishioka’s allegedly not nice to the media to earn points with a Twins fanbase that will inevitably agree with anything negative he writes.

Standard asshole sportswriter troll stuff so far, but then he decides to go with insults in haiku.

In case you haven’t noticed, we had a little Nishi Haiku contest on Twitter the other night. I’m sprinkling in a few of the better ones today and with virtually no editing. Haiku is an ancient and beautiful form of Japanese poetry that consists of three lines of verse and a syllable count of five, seven, five. For example:

“OMG, LOLOL, GUYZ GUYZ GUYZ, GREAT IDEA! NISHIOKA IS JAPANESE AND HAIKU IS JAPANESE, SO LET’S MAKE FUN OF HIM IN THAT FORMAT! GONNA BE AWESOMELY CLEVER!”

Nishi from Far East
plays like a fourth grade kiddie
God we miss Hardy

@chadstenzel

Our Japanese friends
have abandoned Fort Myers
following Darvish

@shipleykid

Grounder through wickets
bad leg and sprained pinkie
Japan ball must rot

@TomPowersPP

Haiku? Really? Wonderful.

So is Powers going to do write rap verses for black players or country tunes for white players? I’m guessing no.

Apparently, Asians are the only athletes who can’t just be bad at sports. No, they have to be Asian athletes who are bad at sports.

Powers made sure to remind us of that every step of the way.

Tom Powers, Subtle
Lucky Subject Is Asian
Else, People Be Mad

@ChadMoriyama

Credit: The LFP

Los Angeles Times: I covered the adventures of James Loney before, but according to the California Highway Patrol, his night was even more ridiculous than TMZ reported.

Loney sideswiped three cars on the 101 Freeway in Sherman Oaks, stopped in the fast lane, passed out, then awakened and tried to flee the scene, only to crash again, said Leland Tang, a spokesman for the California Highway Patrol.

Alrighty then.

In all seriousness, it does seem like it could get significantly worse, as the tests haven’t come back yet.

Tang said officers extracted a blood sample to test for drugs and alcohol but that the test results were not yet available. The city attorney’s office is investigating the incident and deciding whether to file criminal charges.

Could end up being quite bad.

ESPN: Then again, James Loney explained to Tony Jackson how it’s just all a big misunderstanding.

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Dodger Thoughts: Thank god Jon Weisman decided to break down the TV rights ruling because I was starting to get a headache trying to keep up with Bill Shaikin on Twitter.

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Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness: Mike Petriello breaks down the Los Angeles Dodgers interest in Daniel Murphy.

Dodger Thoughts: Apparently Hideki Matsui is on the Dodgers radar as well.

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True Blue LA: Eric Stephen helps everybody catch up with the Dodgers off-season moves.