Dodgers sign Brian Wilson, everything is terrible

BrianWilsonDodgers

The Dodgers have signed Brian Wilson, because Ned Colletti loves former Giants and absolutely loathes me.

Wilson was 90-93 in an audition less than a week ago for scouts, according to Danny Knobler of CBS Sports. And given that he used to sit 95-97 at his best, this is a shot in the dark like Carlos Marmol and Brandon League currently are.

Anyway, I guess we now know who the 2014 League will be after Wilson posts three scoreless innings in a row, Kenley Jansen blows a save, and Wilson takes over the closer’s role. After which he’ll either proceed to blow a Game 5/Game 7 in the playoffs, or be flawless and sign a five-year extension with the team before getting lost in his beard and dying or something.

Super Serious Analysis Follows

MichaelBluthWhatNo

OprahWinfreyNo

DwightSchruteScream

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Then again, I did not realize how attached Giants fans were to Wilson, thus leading to stuff like this: http://www.twitter.com/search/realtime?q=Brian%20Wilson%20Trader

Now the upside of him ending their season or something counts for entertainment points.

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In all seriousness, and since people apparently can’t take a joke, I just don’t get all the happiness about this. Since it’s not a trade, we can skip being thrilled about the “no risk” (Matt Guerrier/Carlos Marmol) aspect of it, since any deal involving the Dodgers, a one-year contract, and money will be “no risk” by default. For me, what it comes down to is whether or not you believe a guy who hasn’t been all that effective since 2010 can now return to form after two Tommy John surgeries, with less velocity, and after all that time away.

I give him as good a chance at being successful in 2013 as Marmol and League in that it’s not likely, but sure, anything is possible. However, if the team or the fans are looking to him as a surefire bullpen upgrade, I still think they’re more likely to be disappointed than thrilled. Nobody was excited about getting Marmol, just about getting rid of Guerrier and getting international bonus pool money. In that same vein, I don’t understand why people are so excited about Wilson while they mock Marmol, as if Wilson’s scenario as a player is any different.

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